Edited.

I shave my legs, I sit down to pee
I can justify any shopping spree.
I dont go to a barber, but a beauty salon.
I can get a massage without a hard-on.
I can balance the checkbook; I can pump my own gas.
I can talk to my friends about the size of my ass.
My beautys a masterpiece & yes it takes long.
At least I can admit to others when Im wrong.
I drive in circles at any cost & I dont have a problem admitting Im lost.
I never forget a important date.
You got to deal with it, Im usually late.
I dont watch movies with lots of gore.
Dont need instant replay to remember the score.
I wont lose my hair, I dont get jock itch
Just because Im assertive, dont call me a bitch.
Dont say to your friends, oh yeah, I can get her.
In your dreams, my dear, I can do better,
Roses are okay, but Wild Flowers are best.
Would you look at my face, not at my chest?
I dont have a problem with expressing my feelings.
I know when you’re lying, you look at the ceiling.
Dont call me a girl, a babe or a chick.
Im a woman, get it, you prick?

-Author Unknown